The emotional ups and downs of parenthood

Here's the thing about parenthood..... No one ever lets you know what you are truly in for. We all know there is no handbook that they give you when you leave the hospital to tell you what it's going to be like or how to understand your baby, or how to survive. But more concerning than not knowing how to deal with the tiny human you just brought into the world, is that no one tells you about the changes that happen to you as a parent. They never tell you that the gooey emotional stuff doesn't end when you pregnant hormones level out or when your kid/s are finally sleeping through the night and you start to get your life back. Or that it still happens when they aren't babies anymore and they aren't those sweet smelling, toothless smiling balls of adorableness.

They don't tell you that all those really awesome firsts will not only make you feel unimaginable joy but they will also break your heart into teeny, tiny, insy, winsy pieces. Or that it wont only be these momentousness occasions but that you will feel them at random moments throughout every single day. When you look over at them and you notice that they have grown just that tiny bit more or when one of your little men hold the door open for a lady or when you tuck them into bed at night  and you see that ghost of the tiny baby you brought home.

Last weekend Michael last his second tooth 

and now we are heading for one of those momentous firsts come Monday morning. Its a bit of an end of an era for us as Zachary will be starting Pre-Primary. This means that both of our little men will be at full-time school for the first time. 

Part of me is so excited about this, he is such a smart little guy, both of them are and he is going to do so well . As a parents half of you looks forward to these moments, you look forward to the moments when they grow up a little more, their first teeth, first word, their first step, first parent-less play-date but the other half of you weeps at the fact that you aren't going to have this particular first every again. 

I know this Mumma is going to have to resist the tears on Monday morning and will be keeping herself very busy with errands and an extensive trip to the gym. But other than that until my Internship begins in term two and I finish my degree I will childless 5 days a week during school hours and I'm not exactly sure what I will do with myself yet. Any suggestions?